14 Years On..

I have not written for many years. Last I wrote in this blog was in 2011. It’s good that no one reads blogs much nowadays so I get a bit of privacy here - privacy in publishing my thoughts to the world. 

Oxymoron much?

I don’t know where to start really but after around 20 plus years of living in London, we are now back in Malaysia. Mr S decided he wanted to return home. Actually it’s not a sudden decision of his. It has always been at the back of his mind that he wanted to go back and this was due to his parents. They are in their late 70s this year, Allah bless them - we have been away for too long and now Mr S wants to be present and not too far away. Indeed he is a good son - May Allah reward him for it. My mother (May Allah preserve her) too is elderly and is in her 80s but I’m not particularly worried about her as she has 5 other siblings of mine around and plenty of grandchildren to visit her. But Mr S’s 2 other siblings are very much unmarried and Mr S is the eldest one - so one can understand the guilt he feels and the burden of responsibility that lies heavily on his shoulders. 

However, Mr S postponed going back for years because he wanted to achieve certain things in his career first and he wanted to make sure the boys are older and are independent and won’t need the parentals to be around. Let me tell you, Mr S is the kind of person that carefully plans and tries to forecast every possible outcome that can happen in life and prepares the contingency plans - he used to be worse when younger! But his plannings and the steps taken from those plans bore fruit and we finally reached the point where we could return home. This point came after Mr S successfully lead a company for 3 years in London and Little H, (I will refer to him as Tall H from now on as he is the tallest in the family) has gone to study at university, living independently in the accommodations. As for Big H, he already graduated from his MEng degree 2 years ago now and is working as a Graduate Engineer, recently promoted to Assistant Engineer in an apparently well known engineering firm. Alhamdulillah.

It’s just Little N left (now not so little anymore) staying with us and currently in Secondary - she’s not sitting for any major exams for a few years yet - thus, it’s the best time to return. So we came back last year in 2024.

But the truth is we have definitely settled down in London. You could say that the anchor has been lowered and is stuck in between rocks deep in the channel or River Thames or whatever never to be moved again! But move it we must because Mr S strongly believes in duty to the family - a trait of his that I truly admire and respect - and when that duty calls, he must answer. This is also about being righteous  - maintaining family ties and filial peity are commands mentioned many times in the Quran. There is no better reason than this really, so for this very strong reason we packed our bags and boxes and left.

So here we are back in Malaysia. Not without tears, mind. But here we are.

Progress Report & Ramadhan Ramblings

Posted 2 days late...

Already it is the 17th of Ramadhan and Mr S and I are starting to feel the lethargy that only people who have fasted for days and have not had enough sleep could feel.

It's normally the middle of the fasting month that it gets bad for me; the early part being supported by the initial excitement of Ramadhan, and the thrill and rush to be on track reading the Quran, whilst towards the end, I get rejuvenated by the fact that Eid is near and Oh dear! What a lot of tidying, cooking and cleaning for me to do!

So yes, right about now, I would and should be feeling sluggish, and truth be told, all I want to do right now is lie under my comfy duvet and just sleep!

But because I AM a supermom *groaaaaan* - life goes on as usual...

Just want to update everyone ont the boys. They have been following their 'plan' albeit not according to the allocated times and progress hasbeen a bit slow because they're doing it mostly on their own without my constant supervision. And oh yes, the reading Quran after Subuh thing? The boys could hardly open their eyes during sahur and fajr prayers so reading Quran afterwards is completely out of the question!

Takpelah...at least they are reading and revising the Surahs they have memorized at the madrasah every morning. That is good enough, I think.

I have also added something else to their list of things to do. Bought this 'Learn To Speak French' thing for them a few months ago that comes with a CD and card game and I thought when else would be best for them to do it but now - during the school holidays?

So yes, learning French is part of their daily routine now although as I mentioned above, progress is also a wee bit slow. But Okay la..

Oh yes, Before I forget, Little H finished his jigsaw! Here's the finished product!

Well done Little H, who did 95% of it by himself with mama and Big H sometimes crowding behind him trying to get a few pieces in! Dunno what to do with it now...probably get a cheap frame somewhere and try to fit it in...:)

At least somebody has finished something so far!

As for moi, I am on track (sort of) alhamdulillah in my Quran readings and in between that and juggling Little N and the boys, I've also managed to well...let me see..Have I checked out any baju raya for myself? Nope! The children? Well, we got them a new pair of shoes each. No baju raya yet..my mum said she sent some for the boys tapi tak sampai2 pun...

What else? Hmmm.......

I think it's safe to say that I have made no preparation for Eid yet and this is normal for me, especially since I started living abroad. I think every year it's just, "apa yang dah ada je lah" and as usual, my attempts at kuih raya are always, well, to put it simply, FAILURES!

Nope, I've never been good at making raya cookies..

But still, it wouldn't be another raya without ANOTHER attempt at it so I was thinking that I should start looking at cookie recipes after I finish the Quran. However, at the rate I'm reading right now, I won't have any kuih raya this year at all!

Okay. So maybe I should start baking 1 or 2 soon. Next week, I think.

Will document it here, inshaAllah..

Summer 2011 'Plan'

Summer hols are here!

Unfortunately we're not going anywhere as it will be the fasting month soon.

As usual when the kids are at home the whole day and night, that means Mama is 'working' the whole day and night!

It's not even been 1 week and I'm already feeling tired! And Ramadhan is just around the corner too!

For this long school break, I've had a little 'meeting' with my kids (my mother who is a retired school principle taught me how to have 'meetings' with children a long time ago!!) and we've decided what is to be done during the holidays.

The list goes like this;

Big H:

After sahur: Read the Quran

10am - 11am : Revise Juzu' Amma and Juzu' Tabaruk and Juzu' Qad Sami'

11am - 2pm: School work

2pm - 3pm: Memorize Asmaul Husna

9.30pm -10.30pm: Read novels

Little H:

10am - 11am : Revise Juzu' Amma and Juzu' Tabaruk

11am -12pm: Finish the Maths workbooks and English workbooks he's had for ages but never finished

2pm - 3pm: Memorize Asma ul Husna

Free time: Complete the 500 piece jigsaw puzzle

9.30pm -10.30pm: Read big novels

Big H said he wanted to finish reading the whole Quran this Ramadhan. I told him that he needs to read at least 20 pages daily for that. He said he'll just try anyway..

"So at what time of the day do you want to read the Quran?" I asked. I wanted them to have a timetable and specific times to do all that they want to achieve so that it's more organised and more achievable for them - and also so that Mama can chase them if they're not doing it!

"My Muallim said the Prophet said the best time to read the Quran is after Subuh so that's what I'm going to do."

"OK." I said encouragingly but dalam hati: MashaAllah anakku...tapi iye ke kau boleh buat ni??

Little H specifically wants to read 'BIG' novels during these holidays. He had already declared to me previously that he 'prefers thick books rather than thin ones' and has already finished the 'BIG' novel that is Black Beauty just yesterday. :) Not that he hasn't been reading many thick novels already - he's already finished the whole of the Harry Potter series, mind - no other kids' books gets thicker than them!

So, okay..that's fine.

Both the boys love reading now, mashaAllah, although this wasn't the case last year.

So how did I change them? I practically forced them to read books in the beginning - but to me there's no other way about it - I needed them to discover the pleasure that is READING and they needed to do that by reading on their own. I bought books that I thought would interest them, I took them to the library, I encouraged them to read comics i.e. Tintin initially to gain their interest. I set a time at night just for reading. I read with them at first because they like their Mama to read with them. And finally, finally it worked, thank God!

After a few weeks of being 'forced' to read, Little H began to get immersed in his story books and later on Big H joined the fun too. Not that Big H didn't enjoy reading before that, mind. He loved reading but ONLY information books e.g. about football, sports, history books, Islamic books...funny, right?

During these holidays I let them play a bit on their Wii after dinner until half past 9 by which the rule is to be on their beds reading their books until half past 10. During school days they have to do whatever work from school or normally, from madrasah (as schools here don't normally give homework except for the weekends) after dinner and then it's straight to books as well.

Fair, me thinks.

Anyway, Little H has a new hobby now which is jigsaw. He's finished one 200 piece one recently and has asked for another one as a present for his good results. Mr S bought for him a 500 piece one - 'upping' the game so to speak - so all the free time he has, he's sitting at his desk trying to complete it!

Better jigsaw than sitting in front of the TV playing games and bickering with his brother every free time they have, right?

So this is how I intend to have some 'control' over the kids' activities during the holidays.

It's going to be tough, what with Ramadhan, the baby, breastfeeding and knowing me, my cravings to eat and cook this and that during the fasting month.

Allahumma Yassir...

Hopefully I'll manage.

Fun Day Accounting

Last Thursday the boys' school held a 'Fun Day' - a day of fund raising for the school and for the parents' association, a day for making money and getting rid of unwanted and old stuff for some parents who came and set up stalls in the school compound, and a day of games and spending money for all the children and also parents who wanted to join the fun.

Back in Malaysia, from the the tender age of 7, school children were given pocket money to spend at the canteen during lunch time but over here, there's no where to do a spot of 'jual-beli' at school - you either have 'packed lunch' i.e. have your lunch from your lunchpack/ lunchbox your mum packed for you from home, have 'home dinners' which means a parent/ carer would come and pick you up at lunch time to bring you home for lunch, or you were having 'school dinners' which means your parents paid for you to have your lunch at the school dinner hall (in some cases, this could be free if the children's parents were getting benefits from the government - how cool is that?).

Self explanatory, really. ;p

Basically the children here would not be very exposed to using notes and coins, unless they do so outside of school.

So of course, the boys were excited to be allowed to take some money to school on their Fun Day. Mr S didn't give them much - only £3.80 each, of which £1 is for a compulsory donation to the school. So they had only £2.80 to spend which was more than enough because I know that at the Fun Day, cakes/food and drinks would be sold at 10p or 20p each or at most 50p. (I told them not to buy anything else besides food and drinks.)

Since they were excited about spending money, I was excited too to know what they would buy for themselves. So, I instructed them to write down what they had spent for the day, knowing from previous experience that sometimes they just misplace their coins and didn't spend much or in some cases, they actually did spend their coins, only they couldn't report back to Mama because their young minds have forgotten exactly what they spent on and how much the things had cost.

I told them before they went off to school, "Write exactly what you spent your money on and how much - write them down on a piece of paper at school before you forget, okay? Don't wait until you reach home to do it!"

The moment I saw Little H running towards me from his classmates and friends when I came to pick them up after school, I knew he had listened earnestly to what I had said. He showed me 3 pencils and 2 rubbers which he had won in some of the games stalls - which, he said, he didn't have to pay anything to participate in - and he showed me that he had £1.04 left over in his pocket. He then began to tell me about his list of expenses which he had written down but said that he didn't want to show it to me first because he had some 'corrections' to do.

"Alright." I said to Little H. "Well done, masyaAllah!"

Big H however admitted that he didn't do what I told him to do, which was really, typical of him. "It doesn't matter," I said to Big H, "You can write them down at home - try to remember what you bought - start from the beginning!"

"Okay.." he said slowly, obviously dismayed that he still HAD to do it!

A little later, at home, this was what the boys showed me;

Little H's Expenses for Fun Day

Big H's expenses sheet which he did at home!

Little H's explanation of what transpired during the day was complex - he spent a lot of his money on food and drinks but there was also a lot of 'swapping' money - or giving away, really - but my friend didn't have any money so I gave him some! - and then somehow the person whom he gave the money to would also give him a certain amount back!

But believe it or not, after all the trading and exchanging he did that day, what he wrote on paper and the amount he had left in his pocket TALLIED!! Which means he had written everything down correctly!

I was SO amazed!

Big H however, tried his best to remember what were his purchases for the day exactly but in the end, he had 50p unaccounted for. Hmm..Tu la, Mama suruh buat terus kat sekolah takmau!

Sigh.

But guess what, that £1.04 Little H had in his pocket at the end of the day? £1 of it was actually generously given to him by none other than his own big brother, Big H! - "Go buy a lollypop", Big H had said! Aww..sweet isn't he?(Pun intended!)

All I can is, WELL DONE Little H for listening to Mama and for doing exactly as you've been told - you've been very responsible and you've paid attention to the details. Good job! Ada gaya boleh jadi CA like Mr S ni! ;p

And Big H, there's always a next time. (Listen to Mama next time!!)

Results (And A Lesson Learnt)

Right, the boys have gotten their results. And I am happy to say that they have both performed really well this year, for both school and madrasah.

Alhamdulillah.

Both Little H and Big H achieved a level 'above what is expected of their age group' at school, which is beyond Level 3 for Little H and beyond Level 4 for Big H. For madrasah, Big H came 2nd in class whereas Little H came 1st! Poor Big H - he should have come first for the year because he got first in the first term but due to a little miscommunication/ misunderstanding on his part on what he was supposed to learn in his Supplications, he was short by a few points and the boy who got no 2 last term got no 1!!!

Takpelah, takde rezeki...I consider their achievements amazing. This is because the other boys in their classes are mostly of Arabic speaking nationalities and would have found their lessons - which is conducted mostly in Arabic - easy-peasy, when my boys know nought of the language! And yet...

Little H had been leading in terms of the marks from last term and from the daily reports he gave me during the exam week this term i.e. semua asyik full marks aje, we already expected him to come 1st in his class, MasyaAllah.

I think I should really thank Mr S this time. He was the one who has been hounding the kids to study, testing them at night weeks before the exam and testing them again the nights before the exams. Not to mention texting me on the phone from work to remind me to make sure the boys were studying during their holidays. Of course, that was exactly what I was doing anyway - making sure the boys were not just playing games during the day - but I do appreciate Mr S playing a bigger role in the kids' revision this time around, without me having to prompt him as usual!

Thanks Mr S. I know the boys may not understand now - they might complain and whine making things difficult for us everytime we ask them to study, but when they are older and wiser, inshaAllah they will remember our efforts and hopefully they will appreciate it and love us more for it. Amiin..

*****

Saying all that, I was really upset with Little H on the last day at the madrasah - which was also their end of year party and prize giving day. I was waiting outside the madrasah door to pick up the boys, waiting for the Muallim to call the boys for me when Little H and Big H both appeared at the door, carrying a big box each. They both got a big water gun each for their wonderful exam results, apparently. I smiled at them but instead of smiling from ear to ear, Little H had a grimace on his face, and whilst he was still within the Muallim's earshot (not to mention all the parents there who were also waiting for their kids) he said loudly, "RUBBISH, RUBBISH, RUBBISH!" - clearly indicating that he was talking about their prizes!

For those of you who have been following this blog previously, you may know that Big H once received a bike for getting 1st in his madrasah class. The year after that, however, the boys did well once again but all they got was a large plastic bag filled with toys each.

To be honest, I wasn't surprised that their prizes that second year were just toys because I know how much we paid for the boys' fees, and I can guess roughly how many children there are in the madrasah and I know how many teachers teach there. It's not difficult to estimate their profit and loss account - the madrasah doesn't earn very much - I wouldn't even be surprised if they are a registered charity. So Big H was very lucky that year when he got the bike - a generous and charitable person must have donated them to the madrasah for prize-giving day.

Thus really, the boys were fortunate to get anything at all from their madrasah for their hard work during the year. And for Little H to complain loudly like that...I was really embarrassed and of course, angry with him! I quickly told him off quietly, on the spot, telling him it's rude to complain about a gift someone has generously given to you but he wasn't really listening. I then asked the boys to walk quickly to the car, ignoring any more complaints from Little H (Big H wasn't complaining - he had his neutral face on, 'graciously' letting Little H do all the whining!) because there were dark rain clouds in the sky and it looked like it was going to pour any second and since I was carrying Little N, I was obviously concerned about getting caught in the rain. But then I heard Little H say, none too softly, still within earshot of some of the parents; "But this came from a Pound Shop*, Mama!"

*(A Pound Shop is a shop that sells cheap things mostly for £1, here in the UK)

THAT was when the dark clouds in ME burst open! And do not doubt that there were thunder and lightning too!

As expected, I gave the boys a long and harsh lecture in the car on the way home about being grateful and thankful for what one receives and not to be so arrogant and snobbish about receiving less expensive things. And of course, I told them that they're learning at the madrasah to be good muslims, for Allah's reward later, not for the prizes they might get at the end of the year!

Little H was very quiet after that and of course, he wasn't in a good mood for the whole evening. He is a smart kid and very eloquent and fluent for his age but that doesn't mean I'm going to let him off for the inappropriate things that might come out of his smart mouth. Saying that, a kid is a kid and he was disappointed with his prize - which he was so excited to receive in the first place, so me being me, I had to 'console' him by showing him and Big H how cool actually their new toys were - they were huge after all and the water jets would go as far as 12m (according to the writing on the box) - you certainly would enjoy shooting at each other in the summer!, I told them. Thank God, that brightened Little H up a bit. And I reminded them that their Papa had promised them a present each for their good results so hopefully both of them will feel well rewarded for their hard work for the year when they receive them.

Sigh.

ALL that aside, masyaAllah, alhamdulillah, I am thankful to Allah for the boys' good achievements again this year. Hopefully both of them will work hard to keep it up - Mama will always pray for your success in this life and the hereafter, InshaAllah.

A little note to my boys:

Growing up is never easy, boys, and it's NOT just about getting good results. There are many things to learn in life and yet life is short. All I can say to you right now is work hard, be good, pray hard and be humble always and in the end just try your best.

InshaAllah, Allah will grant you your prayers.

Amin, inshaAllah.

At 9 Months

Little N knows when she's had enough of her food...

The mouth says it all.

Priceless.

Birthday Lunch

It was Big H's birthday yesterday, 3rd July.

MasyaAllah he's TEN now! How time flies! If you've followed this blog before this, you'll know that I like to go to town and try to be creative (key word: TRY) with my kids' birthday cakes. Remember these..??

Monster Cake

Little H's 3rd birthday party

Big H's 7th birthday: Earth Cake

Spider Cake

Little H turned 4

I feel amazed at myself every time I look at these pictures! What a lot of time and energy I had in those days! I have not been able to present my boys with any more of my ehem, err..'creations' since, well..I think it's been three years since I last iced a cake and used some of my creative juices to make the kids happy for their birthday! Mak takde taim lah anak-anak semua... Look, look! This was the cake I made for Big H yesterday!!

Yes, only those none too shiny silver balls to brighten up the pathetic thing! Thank goodness for the pretty candles Mr S bought to add some colour to it! Yet my boys loved it and was excited when they saw it! Poor boys..it's been a while since I did something special for your birthday cakes, I know boys...I've been working and then getting pregnant and now even though I'm at home all day, with baby N around I'm lucky to be able to get any time at all to put in any extra effort in the kitchen...Kesian anak2 mama...

But yesterday we did have a little gathering for Big H's birthday. I wanted it to be the usual quiet celebration at home with the family unit but Big H pleaded with me to invite some people over! Mr S and I relented and decided to invite the two Malaysian families living in our area aje, Kak A's family and I&H's family. We invited them for lunch.

And what did I make? I wanted to cook the simplest and easiest food I could get away with! But the food had to be special and nice too, of course! So I decided to cook these:

Lemon couscous and and a simple lamb tagine, and some dishes I always cook and hence will have no problem with: lasagna and fried meehun! If you know your tagine and couscous, you'll know that they are hassle free dishes too! And for dessert, on top of that sparkly birthday cake, I made a pudding with banana sauce from a recipe that I've been itching to try for some time...

All in all it was a nice little get together, alhamdulillah. I'm glad that even with the baby and all I still managed to pull through this time - not without the help of darling Mr S and also of course, the boys! (with a little bit of nagging and screaming involved on my part - as usual!).

I do really like to cook for people, I do! It gives me a certain kind of satisfaction to see people enjoying the food that I had slaved in the kitchen to make. I hope this is the start of more invitations to our house this year, God willing!

Next event inshaAllah will be Little N's first birthday! Can't wait! :)

Olympic Ramblings

Olympic Basketball place - pic taken from behind some bars - how apt!

There has been a lot of traffic jams, roadworks, road closures, bridge closure, bus route changes and not to mention dust in my area for the past couple of years. That's because I live in Stratford, London - that's right, where the Olympics will be held next year. I live just a few minutes away from the Olympic Park. Put it this way, I open my front door and look right, I can see the Olympic Village at the end of my road.

I remember when they first started the construction work on the site a few years back - Mr S would have to think many times before washing the car because just 1 day later, the car would be covered in a thick layer of yellow dust. And the dust would creep into our house too. Just a few hours after vacuuming and dusting, the floor would feel dusty, the dark mahogany of the piano would change into a murky lighter shade (okay, I'm exaggerating a bit here ;p) but truly, you could run your finger on the furniture just a few hours after wiping them with a damp cloth and already you would get some dust on your finger! (True Story!). Suffice to say, we had our share of hardships dealing with the huge construction project just a stone's throw away from our place. We suffered but we were also proud and excited to be so close to the action!

The Velodrome - so near yet so far!

The boys were excited about watching the swimming events and diving events live and I wanted to watch a few of the hockey matches (having played hockey at school) and badminton, hoping to catch Malaysia in action. Mr S was more interested to watch the athletic events and we didn't want to miss the opening ceremony, did we? So, when the tickets were opened for 'registration', we registered for around £1k+ worth of tickets - confident that we would at least get 'some' if not all. In case you didn't know, due to the expected high demand for tickets and in a bid to be 'fair' to all, all UK residents who wanted to attend the events needed to 'register' online for the tickets they wanted to buy and a scheduled ballot would then determine which tickets you would get to purchase.

If we were successful in the ballot, we would know by means of our money would be taken out from our account on the 31st May 2011. Mr S checked his account on that date and unfortunately for us, no money was deducted - which means we didn't get any tickets at all, NOT EVEN ONE!! The result was baffling for many people and left many disappointed. For us though, it was doubly so, knowing that we live so near the Olympic Park, (after all we had to go through during its construction!) and reading in the papers that some people got ALL the tickets they registered for (for several events!) when many others like us, got none at all! There's definitely something very unfair about that 'fair' ballot system!

It looks like we'll be watching the Olympic events from a TV screen after all. Maybe we should go back to Malaysia during the Olympics and watch from a TV screen in Seremban or Melaka. After all, a TV screen is a TV screen, no matter where you are it would be the same.

Damn that ballot system...

Or, wait, wait! Maybe I should just boycott the Olympics next year completely and just sulk...no, no, no..I should do my own 'Olympic race' instead! The events would coincide with our holy month, right? So why not I race my grandma/my mom who always khatam the Quran twice during Ramadhan? Come to think of it, what a great idea!

And totally impossible to achieve.

Sigh. Anyway, one more Ramadhan to go before that one. Here's hoping that I'll be getting a medal for that race this coming Ramadhan, huh?

Amin, InshaAllah.

A Little Update

Gawd...it's been ages since I last looked upon this blog of mine.

So many things to write about, don't know where to start! I've been busy, of course. But really, I have to remind myself again and again that this blog is important for myself and family, to record our lives and our children's stories and developments - otherwise all the precious moments would just fade away from our memories and finally simply disappear!

Baby N is already 9 mths old now masyaAllah..her favourite food is rice+ fish+carrots+cauliflower cooked until soft and pressed through a sieve. She also loves yoghurt and cheese and likes some cheesy omelette for breakfast! She has yet to crawl but is slowly moving her body and feet now to move around and to get to where she wants. But there's nothing wrong with her talking abilities - she's a magpie through and through, always noisy, yap-yapping and babbling all the time! MasyaAllah. :)

This week is an important week for the boys. It's their madrasah exam once again. Big H is already in class 5 now and Little H in class 4. Mr S is helping them with the memorising and he's been testing them with their surahs, hadeeths etc. when he comes back from work. Hopefully they will do well again this year inshaAllah..

I have problems feeding Little H nowadays - he's such a picky eater! He's gone really thin now that we jokingly call him 'stick boy' sometimes. It's not funny, I know, he NEEDS to eat!! Mealtimes are stressful indeed!

Big H on the other hand has put on some weight. He eats a lot and requests for all types of cheesy food from his poor mum. He's not fat but he's rounder than before - I love to watch him eat!

Alright, this is all the time I have for now. InshaAllah will update with more stories soon!

Presenting Little N!

Little N was born on the 13th of September in a London Hospital. The picture above was taken the next day, when her brothers came to visit.

Both Mama and Little N are currently at home and doing okay, alhamdulillah....

Backyard Fruits

Just want to show off the cherries that we picked from the tree in our backyard. The tree is nothing to look at but the cherries are a different story altogether!

We normally don't get to eat any of the cherries because the birds would always get to them first even before they are ripe. But somehow this year, there were only two birds who stubbornly kept an eye on the tree and came over for breakfast - as opposed to about 5-6 of those black feathered fiends with bright yellow beaks who would have their breakfast, lunch and dinner in our backyard.

So here they are!

They are absolutely yummilicious and the flesh is thick and sweet - much, much better than the ones Mr S bought for me from the supermarket, I tell you!

The landlord was the one who planted the tree. He did ask whether we enjoyed the fruits a few summers back to which we answered in surprise, no..not at all..there were none left for us!

Banyak pahala landlord dapat tahun ni ...:)

The Proof Is In The Graze...

Remember when I used to be so worried about Big H because he didn't know how to play with his friends during their break time?

He used to walk around by himself, not feeling sorry for himself or anything like that - according to his teachers, his friends would always call to him to play with them but he always refused. It was either he didn't know how to join in or he simply preferred to play on his own. His Year 1 /Year 2 teacher was a little concerned as well because she said that playing with friends is part of learning and growing for children and he was missing out on that...

I remember I used to drive over to his school and sit in the car to spy on him during his playtime - but I always ended up feeling sad and sorry for my little boy - up to the point that I felt that there was no one I could turn to for help but for the Almighty! And so that's what I did! Doa, doa and doa that he'll be better at making friends and playing with them! I know the issue may sound a little petty or trivial to many but it breaks my heart to see him playing by himself when his friends are laughing and playing together. I really wanted him to improve his socializing skills...

But guess what? Big H has slowly, since the middle of last year started playing with his friends! He even has a 'best-friend' now! Admittedly, for a while it was only this friend *R* who considered Big H to be his best friend when Big H didn't want to have anything to do with him at all. In fact, Big H had complained to me in his very innocent way, " I don't know why *R* likes to follow me around!" To which I had answered, "Maybe it's because he likes you and wants to be your friend?" But I didn't need to persuade him too much because they soon became good friends and frankly, I was very, very relieved!

Now, Big H has other friends too - they all play together during play-time. At first it was simply some "made-up" games which when I was a kid was the best kind of games I ever played. But then slowly, Big H and *R* was called by other friends to play football.

In the beginning Big H told me that *R* didn't like to play football (when Big H did) and *R* had walked away when Big H wanted to join the others in the game. But slowly, slowly, *R* also started playing football during playtime and even slide-tackled Big H one day and made him fall and graze his face! Oh dear!

I was a little bit concerned because Big H hardly comes home with any sort of playtime injuries - obviously for the reason that he has not been playing a lot, but to be honest, they really made me very happy!

It was because the injuries were proof to me that he has been playing with friends at school and he was finally able to assimilate himself with the other children! *Phew!*

Oh Big H, I'm so sorry about the scars that you have on your face now but I am also happy and glad that you have now finally 'grown' a bit and able to play with the other children and make friends....Mama is so proud of you!

A Yellow Belt for Little H

It's now the second week of the Easter Holidays for the kids, hence the reason why I've been a little too busy to dive into the blogosphere.

But right now, the boys are at the madrasah, and Mr S had helped to cook dinner last night (cum the boys' lunch while we were both at work), so I think I'll make a quick entry about Little H's karate grading last few weekends specially for the family and grandparents back in Malaysia!

After about a year wearing his white belt, Little H's sensei finally gave him the green light to take the grading to yellow belt. And boy, was Little H delighted!

Big H, Mr S and I helped him to practice at home for the grading - pointing out what he was doing 'wrong' or 'funny' and he took all our pointers in and alhamdulillah, did very well during the grading. (Big H didn't do his grading this time around because he just went up to his green a few months back.)

There was 1 part during the sparing though, when Little H's partner had to do a face punch and Little H had to do his upper block when the Head Instructor had asked him to repeat his move - but in our opinion that was just because Little H's sparing partner was well, to put it frankly, rubbish. I know, that's harsh, but it's true!

Pity that little boy. It's really appalling to see some overly ambitious parents (particularly the parent of that little boy) insist that their child is ready for the grading when they have only attended the classes 5-6 times! I pity too the instructor who had to deal with the parents - we saw 2 separate cases when parents went to the sensei to insist that their child was ready to take the grading even when the sensei expressed to the contrary! How kiasu of these parents! Kesian the kids!

Anyway, here are some pix of Little H's karate grading. He had checked my blog a few weeks back and had asked why mama hasn't put up his karate grading pics in Mama's blog! Sorry darling, I've been busy ye...hopefully, I'm not too late...here they are;

Little H ready to perform his kata.

Yay! Little H presented with his license book by one of the senseis

which states that he had passed his test!

Little H proudly holding a certificate (actually that was Big H's - Little H's one wasn't ready yet!) for the photo op with all the other participants.

Little H proudly holding his yellow belt.

Mr S bought Little H his yellow belt straight after the grading!

Big H with his Green Belt Certificate.

Little H still full of adrenaline at home - showing off in front of the camera!

I'm Not Your Friend!

"Why is Mama's body changing?" asked Little H to a bemused Mr S.

"What do you mean?"

"Well...her breasts used to be down here.." he said, using both hands to indicate somewhere between his chest and tummy(!!!), "but now, it's up here!"- his hands now pointing some where between his collarbone and chest!

Obviously Mr S was laughing by this time. But Little H wasn't finished yet.."And her tummy is fat!"

Oh joy.

Ok, people. Time to come clean.

I haven't gotten a boob job like some of you may think. And neither have I been pigging out that I have grown a spare tyre around my middle. The fact is, I am actually, right now, as of today, thirteen weeks and 5 days pregnant!

Alhamdulillah.

So you can understand why Little H has been harassing me with his moods of late. He cries at the slightest provocation from his brother and threatens us all with the all too frequently used; "I'm not your friend!" every little chance he gets - so frequently that Mr S, the teaser, has even made up a little 'melody' for it. Teruk Mr S! And of course, it annoys Little H even more when everyone especially Big H roars with laughter at Mr S's teasing.

Cian dia.

But that's really being unfair - Little H has been adorable too. He leaves his games and Legos from time to time to check on me in my room whenever I'm feeling a little bit down during my 1st trimester. He cheers me up with his cheeky smile and little stories which always start with, "Mama, shall I tell you something..??"

And....he gives helpful comments when I try out clothes at the shop! Little H likes to follow me into the changing room to look at me trying on clothes that I want to buy. I remember when I was trying on some maternity jeans at a NEXT store, Little H comments were like these; "That looks fabulous on you Mama!" and "No, that looks funny." And in a shop when I was trying on a rain coat because spring is upon us now and I need a nice water resistant and hooded piece, Little H decided to announce loudly, "Mama, when you wear this coat you don't look fat anymore!"

Well, that was it then! Of course I had to buy that coat. It's just wrong not to when my loudest critic has given his blessing!

Oh well, I guess we all know where Little H's mood swings are coming from. Soon inshaAllah, he won't be the baby in the family anymore and he knows it. Mr S says he's using up all his 'baby credits' quickly now because really, he has always been the more 'matured' and 'sensible' one between my two boys...

So takpelah...

At the Tracks

The boys had a wonderful weekend last week.

Earlier in the week, we received an invite to a birthday party of a friend's son to be held on Saturday. But that wasn't what that had excited the boys - parties are pretty commonplace these days and in my opinion, birthday gatherings here are more fun for the parents really who get a chance to catch up with friends and eat some nice Malaysian food while the kids play together or do activities with the entertainers.

What was different and exciting for the boys this time though was the treat that my friend, the father of the birthday boy, had generously organised for about 10 kids between the ages 6-8 before the party. They were to get a chance to do some indoor go-karting! So boys being boys of course they were over the moon about the whole thing!

Due to unexpected heavy traffic that morning, we arrived quite late to the venue but not to worry, all the children were divided into two groups to take turns on the track anyway, so Big H and Little H were put into the second group and were not disappointed!

Big H looked nervous while waiting for his turn to have a go.

A short briefing on how to drive the kart - all the other kids had their briefing in a special room but because we were late, the boys had to have a quick lesson just beside the track! The red pedal is for stopping, the green is for moving. No problem!

Getting helmets that best fit them.

Of course, Big H had to get a slightly bigger-sized one!

Looking pretty cool and all ready to rev up the engines!

Our turn next. Tak sabar...

Finally! It's the boys' turn!

Big H.

He was fast but careful - took over other drivers

whenever he could but was careful around the corners.

Little H however didn't know the meanings of 'break' or 'corner'!

He just flew around the bends and quite a few times rammed

himself into those red and white tyres!!

After 1 hour of fun, 15 + 15 mins for each group, everyone received 'certificates' and the birthday boy got a medal. And we had a photo op at the podium - of course, nearly everyone wanted to stand at the centre of it!

After that at our friend's place for the actual party, after the food

it was back to the 'usual' activity.

The boys even had a round of Guitar Hero with some other children at the party, playing to Deep Purple's Smoke On the Water and Joan Jett's I Love Rock & Roll!

Overall, Big H and Little H really had a good time. They had so much fun actually that they were talking about their go kart experience even the next day, laughing loudly at their own driving and 'accidents' while watching the videos Mr S took of them going around the track.

A bundle of thanks to Uncle Shamsul for all the fun. If the track is somewhere nearer to us I really don't mind bringing them to it often for something to do during the weekends but unfortunately it's quite far away. Oh well, it was good experience for the kids anyway and who knows, they might be able to persuade Mr S to drive them all the way there for a few more rounds during the school holidays.

Back to Business As Usual?

Salam everyone!

Am so sorry that I have not been updating - am feeling a little bit regretful about it actually.

*Sigh*

Even when I was busy or unwell, I really should have updated my blog...because now, during all that time that I have been silent - a lot of what had happened will be 'forgotten' especially, especially about the kids. And they grow up really fast, that I tend to forget that every day with them is really, really precious - and that I should really write everything down so that I will always remember and I can cherish every moment! (Wish I was in a reality show like those Kardashians where a cameraman would follow us around and record every minute of our lives - and edit out the bad parts too! LOL!)

But I hope from now on, I would be more persevering in updating this blog. It has been tiring these last few months and to be honest - I really couldn't spare the time to even visit this blog and any one of my friends' but I will, try my best to keep this blog active from now on.

God willing.

**Pic is of the boys hogging the pc - as usual! One of my excuses for not updating this blog!**

Inadequate

"You need to be super quick," Mr S said.

It was because we were due to meet up with the group for a tour around the important mosques and sites of Madinah. I had nodded - I had about 1 hour before the time we were supposed to meet up with our guide at the lobby of the hotel - I was confident I could make it.

And so I walked with Mr S and the boys - they were going to send me halfway and just wait for me outside the mosque, in front of the men's entrance, as I wont be long. I waved to them once and walked briskly towards the women's entrance of the Masjid Nabawi, towards the back of the mosque.

I was nervous.

I was within the vicinity of Rasulullah SAW and I felt small and unworthy. I am not qualified to kiss the soles of His feet and I felt inadequate - even to ziarah his Tomb.

But I have to ziarah no matter what my feelings were because it would be rude and inappropriate not to if you are in Madinah.

There were no rows and rows of people seated or standing in prayer lines in the mosque as was the norm during solat times. There were some women praying but I could probably count them with my hands - mostly there were small groups of women walking about, all either going towards the Maqam area or coming from it. And there were the Indonesian cleaners too, busy mopping, vacuuming, wiping, cleaning - I can imagine what a huge task they have to do daily or even hourly as the mosque is never empty.

Once I entered the mosque, I had to walk from the women's entrance at the rear end of the mosque back towards the front of the mosque where the Maqam is situated. Of course, this time I get to do it without squinting at the brilliance of the sun and instead, my eyes had to adjust in the cool and dim areas of the fully air conditioned interior of the mosque.

I walked fast - the clock was ticking - I was wearing my stockings and really, I was sliding on the cool marble floors where the carpets were rolled up for the morning mopping. And then, suddenly, I was stopped by a dark skinned female guard in burqa.

"Indonesia?" she asked me.

"Malaysia." I answered.

"Sana ibu.." she said, pointing towards a group of South East Asian women, all sitting down together, some praying, some reading the Quran. I walked towards the women and sat down beside a young woman. I was a little confused. The last time (about 16-17 years ago) I visited the Maqam of the Prophet (pbuh) during the women's visiting hours, when the door opened, it was open season and the women simply, well, charged. There was no segregation of countries, no organisation whatsoever.

I looked around and saw that there were several other female guards holding placards with the names of countries; India/ Pakistan, Iran, Malaysia/ Indonesia and some of the guards were even giving talks in various languages to the groups of women, all seated according to their country of origin. I didn't need to be a genius to figure out the system - we were only allowed to enter in groups according to country and each group will have to wait for their turn to get in.

Bother!

I glanced at my clock - 40 minutes before our rendezvous with the guide.

30 minutes.

20 minutes and I was still waiting.

At that time, looking at the peaceful looking women who were patiently waiting, praying and reading the Quran around me - I thought I would gladly take the pushing and shoving to get in the Raudah any day - especially today when I don't have the time to be patiently waiting. I calculated; it took about 5 minutes to reach the entrance from where Mr S and the boys were waiting. Another 5 minutes to walk across to the front of the mosque to the Maqam. And it will take 5 minutes to walk back to the hotel. So I needed about 20 minutes in all as I had to go up to our room once we reach the hotel to get my bag.

Sigh.

I said my salam anyway to the Prophet from afar, got up and walked carefully over and around the women in the group, careful not to step on anyone and quickly made my way out. As I slid across the cool floor once again towards the back of the mosque, I thought, maybe Allah has decided that I was inadequate to visit His Prophet after all....

But I did not give up and tried again the next day...


To Be Continued.