Good Bye Steve Irwin

I will always remember this man. He was enthusiastic, charismatic and so very knowledgeable and passionate in his work and I respect him, eventhough I would never do the things he did in a million years. I am very sad that I will never see him old with grey hair doing those wonderful things with those wonderful animals and perhaps restraining himself a little bit due to his old age.

His wife and children must be devastated. My heartfelt condolences.

News: The Crocodile Hunter Killed by Stingray

So, Do You Like My Chicken?

Yet another person has given me a certain ‘look’ when I told them about my situation. We were standing in the middle of a shopping mall in one of East London's towns.

“So, you’re working?” asked A.
“He he…no. Staying at home,” I replied. “Taking care of my kids.”
(A pause - as A pretended to look around for a while and then ended up looking at my shoes)

“Why?” asked A with a familiar ‘look’ on her face. Disapproving. Unimpressed. Curious.
“ I just want to take care of them. Plus, I don’t want to go to work!” I said, trying to sound cheerful – face to face with that look she gave me, it was a wonder I could do anything else but sweat.
“OK…” she answered, her tone unsatisfied, as if my answer was the most ridiculous thing that she has ever heard in her whole life.

And that probably wont be the last time I get these looks from my fellow Malaysians. It seems that when you have a degree, especially a degree from here (the UK) and you’re not taking advantage of it by working – you’re an oddity. You’re downright weird. You’re absolutely bonkers!

Funny how throughout my life, I’ve always felt pressured to prove myself. No matter what happens, I must get number 1 in class because I’M CLEVERER than everyone else. No matter what, I am going to do better than that person because hey, even though her dad drives a BMW and she's got the latest SWATCH (it was quite a craze when I was at school aeons ago), I am better because I’M CLEVERER. What? She did that?! OK, now I’m going to do better than that because I’M CLEVERER than her, surely? And then at work it was always, What? She got that project? Hey, I’m more competent than she is so I think I’m going to ask for something even better than that. What? She’s got that post?? And it goes on and on and on…

But that’s not the case anymore. At least not in matters of intelligence or career. After all, I'm just a housewife now - I simply don’t feel the need to prove myself to anyone anymore.

Or so I thought.

I didn’t even realise that the ‘urge to prove myself’ has really been deeply ingrained in me and has really 'passed the point of no return' until during my son’s birthday party a few months ago. We decided to cook nasi ayam as the main dish, spaghetti marinara as an alternative, tiramisu and jelly and of course the birthday cake. This is more than an armful for me alone, so I had to ‘delegate’ a few simple chores to my dear husband, who readily agreed to help, provided I tell him exactly what to do. And by 'exactly', I mean EXACTLY.

It was the chicken. He was supposed to marinate the chicken. And a host of other minial things that I could have done myself except that there was the cake that needed to be frosted, and the decorations, and the tiramisu, and the cleaning..and the list goes on. So the deal was: I take care of the major stuff and instruct him on the minor stuff. The ingredients and measurements of the marinade were clearly written on my little recipe book and he did not have any problems to follow that. Only he had to spoil it all by rubbing the chicken with the marinade by tumbling the chicken so roughly that the cooked chicken skin came off and accumulated at the bottom of the large bowl. So that when I finally got on to fry the chicken pieces in the morning, I found all the skin at the bottom – the chicken skin which I have purposely left on so that the chicken wont easily dry and harden when it was time for me to fry them. It would have turned nice and dark and crispy and the chicken flesh would still be soft and juicy.

You’d think it was a trivial matter and of no real importance at all but I was horrified! Horrified enough to yak and yak and yak until my husband - already defensive and proclaiming that he didn’t get any ‘instructions’ from me to be 'gentle with the chicken' and so he did as he liked! And who was the person who didn’t give exact instructions to do the chicken?
But isn’t that common sense? – the chicken skin was left on exactly for THAT – for it to be ON the chicken! Well, how would I know that? - lost his patience and we started a war of the beaks.

That’s right, to quarrel in the morning of that party, just a few hours before our guests were supposed to arrive, when there were still so much to be done and readied. Of course, our hands were busy doing this and that but we were quarrelling nonetheless - that was, until both of us slipped into the ‘silent mode’ – which was always the way for us after a heated discussion or a quarrel. Time to make each other suffer by simply ignoring each other. At least it was, until he murmured, “ Orang nak party ni nak happy- happy – dia nak gaduh-gaduh pulak!” (We’re having this party to have fun – but you’re spoiling it with this quarrel.)

Obviously, that made me feel guilty and so we made up – I hugged him and said sorry, you’re right, let’s not quarrel BUT..

But what?

But you must tell all our guests that YOU are responsible for the 'hard' chicken. Fine, he said, that wouldn’t be a problem. And we laughed. I laughed happily with some relief. He laughed sarcastically, also with some relief.

And so my husband announced with a smile on his face to all and each of our guest - who did not come all at the same time, so he had to repeat his 'announcement' a few times - apologising for the ‘hard’ chicken and telling them that he was the one who ‘spoiled’ it, adding, of course, had 'my wife' prepared the chicken, they would have turned out a lot better bla bla bla. And a friend sitting next to me reassured, “No lah, the chicken is fine – very nice!” And I said, Thanks, but it was supposed to be etc. etc. etc. And she said, don’t worry about it! It’s not like it’s an exam! The chicken is fine! And then I said; But to me this IS an exam! – What else do I have to show for all the time I have staying at home?

And then it hit me. (Actually it hit me a little later when I was thinking about that conversation.)

I was out to prove myself again, it seems. This time in the skills of the housewife. All my friends here are either doing their PhD or working so I had to show them that I’m better than them at cooking because apparently, that’s what a housewife does everyday - so shouldn’t she be damn brilliant at it? It doesn’t really matter if I really do enjoy cooking, even if it is something that I HAVE to do everyday. What mattered was that people know that I excel at it. Oh, she’s just a housewife? But at least she’s a brilliant cook!

I suppose I do feel a little intimidated by all the people around me – they work, they pursue their PhDs, they make money, they’re doing something for themselves, they’re going somewhere, they’re grabbing opportunities – while I’m just staying at home, being so very sedentary - in everything. So I had to go and prove myself again. Try to outdo myself yet again. But is that so wrong? I don’t think so. So what if I take cooking and preparing my food to guests seriously? It only works to the benefit of all.

Except that sometimes I work myself up over silly things like chicken skin.
Except that it lead to a ridiculous quarrel with my husband.
Except that I find it a little pathetic.

It’s pathetic because I’m 30 years old and I have yet to find something I’m really good at. And I keep trying to prove myself in little things such as this when others are already sailing solo around the world. Have I ever told you that THAT is my dream? To be able to sail my own boat and travel the seas? When will I ever get to do the things that I want and really prove myself to myself, most importantly, and then to everyone else?

I'm still waiting for my chance.

Merdeka Carnival at Hertford

The Merdeka Carnival, a celebration of Malaysia’s 49 years of independence, was held at the Tun Abdul Razak Research Centre in Brickendonbury, Hertford last Saturday. My husband and I with our two boys in tow arrived there at around 11 in the morning when there were not yet too many people, the queue for the satay at the satay stalls were still short and there were still plenty of good spots available to lay down our mats for our picnic. Many people started to arrive around noon and the area was filled with Malaysians, British and other nationals alike, all there to experience a 'Malaysian Day', from the Malaysian food and products sold at the various stalls set up there for the event, to watching the Malaysian performances which will be performed during the event. A stage was erected in front of a large white building next to the carnival spot which had the look of a country manor, and that’s where the Indian dancers wiggled their 'stuff' to the Bollywood music, the lion dancers leaped and danced to the rythm of the drums and cymbals, the Malay dancers tried to tackle the zapin and some other traditional dances from Sabah and Sarawak.

The weather was dull and the clouds looked like it was at the verge of falling down on us the whole day and indeed, it did drizzle for about 15 minutes just before noon. The sun, in true British fashion peeked at us in its full glory for a few minutes before going into hiding again until later in the day, when again it played hide and seek with all in attendance at the outdoor event.

The place itself, the Tun Abdul Razak Research Centre was beautiful - with its tall trees that are still lush and green at the end of August and the serene pond with the pink lotuses not 30 metres from the stage. A big field right in front of the building, across the pond, was used well as both car park and footie pitch for the football competitions that were held during the course of the day, also part of the carnival's programmes. The grass was fresh and green due to the rainy week prior to the day of the event but was not wet nor muddy because the Almighty was kind to let the rain from previous days seep through the grass the previous night before it rained again, to nourish and lend life to the trees and grass instead of allowing the many feet on that Saturday to trample and destroy the scene.

My family, together with 2 other families laid down our mats and the food we brought for our ‘picnic’ very near the stage so that we can see the performances later. There were roti jala, cup cakes, fajitas, and my own contribution; nasi lemak and peach pudding. The food was far too much – because everybody also wanted to buy and taste the mouth watering array of Malaysian food sold in the many stalls there - indeed, we had to offer the nasi and pudding to whoever that came to our ‘port’ so that our nasi lemak leftover to be taken home was a manageable amount that my husband and I can finish off later.

The location brought pleasure to my naturally green senses and was worth that 1 trip and more. Plus, the performances and the food were fine and the company was good – it’s always good to spend time with friends – I’m so very hungry for company (other than my own family, that is) these days. If my friends did not invite us to come along, I dare say, my husband and I would never dream of going to that carnival. It was our first time going there and I’m glad we decided to join them.

More Pics:





Never ever leave the bottle at home.

Can I join the troupe?














Towards the end there were still a lot to go around.











There's the kuih koci stall. 50p a piece!















I love to eat yummy karipap!

Peach Pudding

Tried this recipe from memory today - somebody gave me this recipe or something similar to it years ago but I seem to have lost it - and the result was (thank goodness) yummy!!

Simple and lovely. Try it!

Best eaten with some light cream or evaporated milk.

Ingredients:
1 pack agar-agar (20g)
3 1/4 cups of water
2 small cans of evaporated milk (170g each)
2 Tbsp custard powder, mixed with a little cold water
1 1/2 cups of sugar
1 loaf butter/ madeira cake
1 can peaches, drained, diced, syrup set aside

Method:
Cook the agar-agar strips in water until strips dissolve completely. Reduce heat. Add sugar and evaporated milk and stir. Pour in the custard mixture. Stir and mix well. Leave on reduced heat for a while, stirring occassionally until mixture reaches boiling point just for a few seconds. Set aside.

Line bowl with cake slices/ cubes and drizzle with the syrup from canned peaches. Arrange a layer of peaches on cake and pour agar-agar mixture to fill the bowl. Refrigerate.

Tip: If you can't find a 20g pack agar-agar and don't know how to measure the water, go by this rule of thumb: 1 cup (full and packed with) agar-agar strips requires 3 cups of water. Obviously, you need to adjust the rest of the ingredients as well. For agar-agar to be nice and sweet, the sugar must be a little excessive (too sweet) before the agar-agar sets - once set, the agar-agar will be 'just nice' - hopefully!

BA. Greed and Unscrupulous Means (Hons)

Is there no Honour anymore in this world?

At this moment my husband is sitting with our landlord who came to the house with a new contract for us. Previously we were the subtenants of this house but since that man (the main tenant) has gone back to Malaysia, we are taking over this house and so the landlord is here to seal the deal.

The thing is, just before we moved into this house 4 months ago as the subtenants, the landlord informed us personally that if we decide to stay on in this house and take over as the main tenants after the current main tenant leaves, he will maintain the then current rent rate for another year - he was desperate at that time to retain a tenant in the house for another year. But today, he is here with a new contract that states the rent is to be increased by £30. And we were struggling with the initial rent in the first place! And when reminded about his ‘promise’ to maintain the rent – his only answer was, ‘Did I say that? I don’t remember.’
But we remember. And we also remember what he bragged to my husband a few months ago - that he earns £100k+ a year from his engineering job. I'm sure he doesn't remember telling us that either. He doesn't even need that extra £30. But we do.

I ask again, is there no honour anymore in this world?

I mean, I’m not asking for men to fight wars and kill themselves to prove their honour. I just need for people to honour their WORD. Isn’t that the least one could do to show one’s integrity and to show that we are civilised and honourable human beings living in the 21st century?

Ini tidak. Selagi tak tulis atas kertas, selagi tu lah takda binding contract.

But I know the answer to my own question, albeit a roundabout one. The answer is; while the question of whether there is still honour in this world remains, there is, certainly, a greater force that controls people nowadays – and that stronger force is GREED.

You will want the highest income you can get from your investments – even if it means lying through your teeth for it – that’s probably my landlord’s motto taught in the school of greed and unscrupulous means.

See, that’s why I love those historical romance books I read (apparently everything comes back to why it's good for me to read these romances, you’re thinking – I can read your minds, see.) The men in these romance books are honourable men, no matter how hamsap or how ‘tormented’ they are at first with some guilt or some memory that they have from their past. These are good men, who knows what’s right and what’s wrong (even if it takes until the end of the book for them to learn it) and will go the extra length to do the right thing. These are men who do not exist in this world anymore, it seems - present bed partner the exception, of course, and these are the men that are sadly, fictional. But why should I read about reality: about deaths and evil men and dead children and poverty and rape and murder and liquid bombs and starvation and problematic families and divorce and hate when I can get a healthy (or should I say unhealthy) dose of it every time I turn on the TV?

Oh well. My poor husband will have to get some part time job soon if we want to stay on living in this nice house. Or maybe I can sell something…my books, perhaps (not!)… Or maybe we can find a Malaysian who would like to rent one of our rooms. Anyone out there who’s looking for a room to rent in a nice house in London?

And now, to read that new contract the landlord passed us – to make sure he didn’t add anything else in there that may surprise us in the future – before we resign ourselves to paying that extra amount of rent...

P/S: My landlord is NOT Mr Bush.

Nice and Easy Brownies

Tried this recipe yesterday - was looking for a non cakey type of brownies recipe. This one tastes nice - very, very easy to make and mine was ready in the oven after 20 minutes (make sure never to overcook your brownies!) Nice and not too cakey - but still not the kind I'm looking for. Anybody out there with a good non cakey brownie recipe, feel free to contact me!


Ingredients:
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Method:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour an 8x8 or 9x9 inch baking pan. In a medium bowl, beat together the butter and sugar. Add eggs, and mix well. Combine the flour, cocoa and salt; stir into the sugar mixture. Mix in the vanilla and stir in walnuts if desired. Spread evenly into the prepared pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes in the preheated oven, or until edges are firm. Cool before cutting into squares.

The Proof Is In The Cake

Aha! Proof that I act my age!

You Are 30 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

P/s: All the men I know who tried this test got a younger number than their actual age (my husband got 25!) I guess its true what they say - men mature late...:)